Bakura Shrek
by Queen Thief
Summary: Bakura, a feared Spirit, keeps to himself until Lord Yami dumps a load of fairytale creatures on his land and he sets off with a dogboy Joey to rescue princess Marik who is more than what s he seems. Thiefshipping. [Discontinued]
1. Once Upon A Time

**Hi everyone! It's Queen Thief again with a new story. Now, first off, let me just say that I AM planning to finish "1st Labyrinth"! It is NOT on hiatus or anything. It's just that I've reached a certain part in our hero Marik's journey and I'm having trouble on how to help him overcome his newest foes. Ooops. Guess that was a little spoiler for you there. Yes, there is more than one person for Marik to face. But let's focus on this story for now shall we? **

**Story name: Bakura Shrek **

**Written by: Queen Thief**

**Rating: PG (If you can handle the movie than you can handle this fanfic)**

**Warnings: This story contains Shonen-ai and hints of Yaoi. (The movie's got it's own little 'adult' suggestions too.)**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh or Shrek! This stands for all chapters!**

**This fanfic is dedicated to: Everyone who ever reviewed my "1st Labyrinth" fic. **

**Okay, I can practically HEAR quite a few people out there chanting "DIE! DIE!" already. Yes, I KNOW that Shrek is a classic and some people might think that turning it into a Yu-Gi-Oh and shonen-ai parody would ruin it (I know my mum does --) but the fact is that I've searched hi and low for a Shrek parody and got nothing. So I'm making my own. If you're interested then please read, if you're not then don't read and remember NO FLAMES ALLOWED.**

**I think I've rambled on long enough. Thank you and enjoy the movie! **

Specks of dust flew around in the air, sparkling in the light of the sun for just a moment before falling to the ground of the forest swamp. Of course, you must realize now that this is no ordinary fairy tale. Oh no, this is much more…

A young man of around seventeen sat on top of a make-shift house in the center of the swap. He was lithe and thin, however seemed muscular enough to hold his own in hand-to-hand combat. He wore a hood and cloak of fine purple over his own clothes which were an old tattered white shirt, a washed out blue vest and a pair of overused torn pale blue denim jeans. The hood was meant to cover the boy's features, for he was a very unique individual. Like an ogre is feared for being ugly and brutal, this teen was feared for the fact that he was different.

Most knew his kind as "Spirits". The boy was deathly pale, possessing long thick locks of snow white hair and eyes of pure swirling blood red. His kind were cursed since birth to wear their souls on the outside of his body and not within like most, hence the reason for his ethereal features. He was very handsome; there was no doubting that, however the fact that he looked more ghost than human made others shiver in fear and disgust.

The book the spirit held in his hand told of a story as old as time itself. A story of friendship, true love and living happily ever after, no matter who you may be…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_**Once upon a time** there was a lovely princess. **But** she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by **love's** first kiss. She was **locked away** in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing **dragon**. Many **brave knights** had attempted to free her from this dreadful **prison**, but **none** prevailed. She waited **in the dragon's keep in the** highest room **of the** tallest tower for her true love **and true love's first kiss**…"_

The spirit laughed outright, uncovering his cloak covered head to reveal two twin eyes of crimson and a mess of white hair. He threw the cloak off as he jumped down off the roof of his house.

"Like that's ever gonna happen," He chortled in a deep English baritone as he tossed the book aside, "What a load of-"

_Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me,  
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed,  
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb,  
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead._

The spirit grabbed a bucket and swiped some water out of a nearby clean spring near the swamp to bathe with. He slid in some mud for a second while carrying it and regained his balance just in time, then he looked back at the skid mark he'd made in the dirt. He gave a smirk seeing his own name and -coincidently- the title of our story spelled in the water filled dirt grooves in the ground.

"**BAKURA SHREK**"

_Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming,  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running,  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun,  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb._

Bakura striped down and stepped under the flow of semi-warm spring water from a large sideways-tipped bucket, letting it cascade down over his body and through his hair, washing away any dirt he'd accumulated prior. He spied a young woman half bending over with a freshly picked mushroom in her hand not only a few meters away. She looked torn between blushing as red as a tomato and running away in terror of the spirit. When Bakura made a teasing gesture at her with a fleeting smirk and wink, she finally made up her mind and bolted.

_So much to do, so much to see,  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?  
You'll never know if you don't go,  
You'll never shine if you don't glow._

Bakura toweled off and dressed in his ragged clothes once more. He left the towel on a log under the still tipped bucket, letting a large amount of water pour down onto the fabric and also letting the soaked indents stand out to spell the next of our leading role's names.

"**Joey Wheeler**"

_Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play,  
Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid,  
And all that glitters is gold,  
Only shooting stars break the mold._

The spirit then walked over to an outdoor vanity set he had stolen a while back. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair then paused to admire himself in the mirror. If he wasn't so ghostly then his handsome featured would stand out more, he thought. Unfortunately, his mirror decided to back him up on this theory by choosing that exact moment to crack suddenly. Bakura frowned deeply and walked away, not seeing how the now separate glass shards of the once mirror fell away quickly one by one to reveal another protagonist's name engraved nicely in the wood behind.

"**Marik Ishtar**"

_It's a cool place and they say it gets colder,  
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older,  
But the meteor men beg to differ,  
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture._

Bakura decided on a short walk in the lazy afternoon sun to clear his thoughts. He ended up passing a large pond on his way, with light green leaves and algae floating on its surface and a slimy quality spread throughout its depths which simply refused to reflect any of the suns warm light. The pale youth barely slowed down as he scooped a hefty pebble up into his hand and then tossed it carelessly of to the side across the water where it knocked a fish on the head. The algae and leaves had been tossed and turned in the strong ripples that followed and when the water settled the green substances has melded together to form the name of our star villain.

"**Lord Yami**"

_The ice we skate is getting pretty thin,  
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim,  
My world's on fire how about yours,  
That's the way I like it and I never get bored._

The spirit teen slunk through the forest as quiet as a church mouse. Now where had that lovely young maiden who collected mushrooms run off to? Ah, there she was, bent over a large bush of what looked like the most beautiful flowers in the land. Bakura had to suppress a large laugh as she picked one. He wasn't about to tell her those plants did much the same thing to a human's skin as poison ivy.

Besides, that could work to his advantage. He had been right in assuming she would have food with her. There was a picnic basket placed not even a meter or two away from her, stuffed to the brim with chicken and fish. That, Bakura decided with a classic smirk, was going to be his dinner for tonight.

_Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play,  
Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid,  
And all that glitters is gold,  
Only shooting stars break the mold._

In the nearby village, hunters from all around gathered in the square as dusk fell. They had come running out of taverns or modest little houses and were now planning an attack on the swamp home of the much feared spirit. They concluded their hastily made plan by lighting an abundance of touches, grabbing pitchforks and any other sharp objects that were lying around and giving a mighty cheer for their soon-to-be victory.

_Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play,  
Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid,  
And all that glitters is gold,  
Only shooting stars break the mold._

Bakura sat in his dining table eating the food he had stolen from, the girl earlier when he sensed the presence of the approaching hunters. He frowned in apprehension and annoyance at having to cut his dinner short that evening. Bakura stood up casually and moved to his fire to toss some more firewood on the hearth.

_Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas,  
I need to get myself away from this place,  
I said yep what a concept,  
I could use a little fuel myself,  
And we could all use a little change._

Torches burned brightly in the dark of the night, illuminating the rock walls of the forest paths the village hunters had taken to reach the part of the swamp in which the Spirit lived. The attackers slowed from an enthusiastic run to a slow cautious creeping pace, so as to not alert their prey to the imminent danger he was soon to face.

_Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming,  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running,  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun,  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb,  
So much to do so much to see,  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets,  
You'll never know if you don't go,  
You'll never shine if you don't glow.  
_

Little did they know that Bakura followed them from behind, deathly silent, with a sneaky grin playing across his lips.

_Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play,  
Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid,  
And all that glitters is gold,  
Only shooting stars break the mold..._

Crickets chirped loudly in the unnatural quiet of the darkness as the villagers crowded behind a large set of bushes, looking almost fearfully at the house of the Spirit and watching the glow of the fire Bakura had made dancing across the edges of the windows, as if hoping to distract themselves from what they were about to do.

One of the men reared back a little, whispering to his friend, "Do you really think that thing is in there Tavon?"

The friend gave him a look as if he were an idiot, "Of course it is James." Then he turned to another of the men beside him as soon as James had turned away and asked quietly, "Hey Mark, you sure that it's actually in there?"

An eager young man from the back practically leapt to the front of the group.

"I say we strike it down now!" he started for the house, but was quickly grabbed by Tavon and some others.

Mark put his hand over the keen man's mouth and whispered loudly, "Are you absolutely daft? Do you _want_ it to here us coming? Do you even know what that _thing _could do to you?"

"Yeah," James added, "I'll grind your bones to make its bread."

"Actually, that's more the type of thing you'd expect from Giants." The voice was deep and menacing, making all the men present there freeze on the spot. They all slowly turned around to come face to face with the very Spirit they were supposed to have been hunting. Bakura grinned darkly, his eyes glinting sharply and the tips of his hair floating in the barely noticeable breeze, giving him an appearance of supernatural power.

"As I was saying," he continued, "Spirits don't eat bones or things like that. We much more prefer to eat the souls of you pathetic useless mortals. We love to leave you as empty carcasses to rot away unnoticed as we feast on your very essence."

Mark sprang forward, waving a torch near Bakura's face.

"Back! Back, beast!" he threatened as Bakura gave him a bland, unimpressed look, "Back! I warn ya!"

The Spirit raised an eyebrow and gave a quick flick of his wrist. Instantaneously every single one of the torches that the men held were extinguished, leaving them only the scarce light of the moon to see their foe. They quaked in fear, voices gone and eyes bugging out.

Bakura smirked, leaning down to whisper to the petrified group, "This is the part where you run away…"

Suddenly the fear that griped the men took hold completely as they all screamed loudly in absolute terror and ran as fast as they could away from the laughing Spirit, most of them tripping or stumbling along the way.

Bakura stopped his laughing to call threateningly, "And STAY OUT!" Then, by chance, he noticed the paper at his feet. One of the men must have dropped it. He picked it up to see a picture of an elf's face behind iron bars with a caption directly underneath that he read aloud absent mindedly.

"Wanted: Fairy tale creatures." He sighed and tossed the paper over his shoulder and walked away, back to his home. The paper landed face-up on the dirt path. Now this is where the fun begins in our story…

**Okay fanfiction lovers, that was just the first section of the movie. Next up, we go to a bit of the action and meet the next of our protagonists! So everyone who read this, PLEASE review and show me that it's worth continuing. **


	2. A Spirit met a Dog

**Hi everyone! Thank you for all your awesome reviews! Sorry this took so long. A lot of things have been happening and my time on the net has been very limited. I haven't read over this chapter yet, so ignore the spelling mistakes that may be in here for now please. I'm working on it.**

**Enjoy the chapter! **

Now, this is where the fun begins in our story…

Perhaps we should start by explaining what was meant by 'Fairy Tale creatures', though. In this world there were two kinds of races. One race was the humans, whom lived in large castles or small villages and served the King and Queen of this ancient-yet-modern realm. Of course both monarchs lived in the part of the realm called "Far, Far Away', and were rarely seen in the sector Bakura lived near. In fact, they had known that they couldn't govern from so 'far away', and they had left the land and all its inhabitants to be ruled by Lord Yami; an extremely vain and pompous man who was thoroughly tired of his title as 'Lord' and wanted to be known as a King… even though he had absolutely no idea how to accomplish this.

But we've gotten off track, haven't we…?

The second race that inhabited this realm were the "Fairy Tale" race. These creatures were humans, animals or objects that had been born or made with the characteristics of a certain fairy tale creature. For example; a woman that couldn't have children had grown a flower once and ended up with a girl no bigger than her thumb to take care of. Thus; the flower girl and the woman had inherited the traits of the story 'Thumbelina'. Also, three bears had been born able to talk and interact with humans; Papa Bear, Mamma Bear and Baby Bear while a girl had been orphaned to a family consisting of two evil sisters and a wicked step mother, thus earning her status as 'Cinderella.' So, on and on it goes; fairies are born from flowers, elves are born from diamonds to work in mines, animals start to talk and humans bear children with animal characteristics –such as the beautiful local storyteller with white hair, whose real name is Kisara, but whom everyone has labeled as 'Mother Goose.'

This is all that is normal in the realm in which our tale takes place. And speaking of our story…

"All right, this one's full!" a burley soldier slammed the door of a prisoners' carriage closed. "Take it away!"

It would have been a delightful spring day in the woods, were it not for the fact that over the sweet twittering of birds, an absolutely morbid monotone rendition of the elves' favorite song "Hi ho, hi ho, It's of to work we go" could be heard for miles around.

Soldiers dressed fully in armor walked around, rallying fairy-tail creatures onto whatever carriage there was room in. The head guard sat amidst all the commotion, at a wooden desk, scribbling something down on paper while two more men-at-arms stood near him, one on each side of the table.

"Move it along! Come on! Get up!" a guard shouted in the distance as Kimo –the head guard –ordered to the line in front of him, "Next!"

A peasant pushed a witch forward into the hands of the guard right of the table. He snatched the broomstick she carried, saying "Give me that!" and broke it over his knee, "You're flying days are over."

"That's twenty pieces of silver for the witch." The head guard informed the peasant as the poor witch was lead away, "Next!"

Another person stepped up in the line, revealing the others behind him. There was an old man carrying a wooden puppet, who kept pleading, 'Please father Gipetto, don't leave me!' and an old woman with a leash in hand and a scruffy looking golden-terrier dog pulling at the lead to try and get away. Further behind them stood a large man gripping the hand of a sulking young boy completely dressed in a green color that matched his aqua hair holding a birdcage with a golden fairy inside of it, whom had long brown hair and saddened hazel eyes; they had obviously inherited the personalities of the characters of 'Peter Pan'; the boy being the star himself and the fairy girl being Tinkerbelle. After them was a farmer with three short boys –all of whom possessed the characteristics of 'The Three Little Pigs' –tucked under his arms, all of whom were quarreling in German sounding accents.

The puppy the old hag held captive cast anxious looks around and, after seeing the three bears under lock and key and the little one crying 'this cage is too small!', he decided to try and reason with the old lady.

"Please," he begged in a strong New-York sounding accent, "don't turn me in. I'll neva' be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me anotha' chance!"

"Oh shut up!" the hag scolded, jerking his leash hard, making the unfortunate animal whimper.

"Next!" the head guard's voice rang out and Gipetto stepped up to the desk.

"What have you got?" The captain asked tiredly. He was very irritable at the moment because he'd been at this job for hours without a break. He almost didn't catch Gipetto's soft spoken answer.

"This little wooden puppet; Mokuba. I made him and he came to life like in 'Pinocchio'." The man said, setting the marionette on the desk.

"I'm not a puppet!" Mokuba cried indignantly, quickly turning to face the head guard, "I'm a real boy!"

His nose grew about two feet longer.

"Five shillings for the possessed toy." The head guard dropped the money into the old man's hands and Gipetto walked away while counting it, ignoring Mokuba's cries of "Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!" as he was picked up and taken away.

"Next!" the head guard called again, he was beginning to feel like a minor-bird, "What have you got?"

"Well," the old woman jerked on the dog's leash and he stumbled forward, "I've got a human who is half dog and can transform into one at will. His name is Joey Wheeler."

The guards standing on either side of the table let their jaws slack in surprise while the head guard looked at her with an uninterested expression, "Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings… _if_ you can prove it."

The woman beamed, speaking to the dog while undoing the leash, "Oh, go ahead little fella!"

Everyone waited expectedly, but all the dog did was look at her.

"Well?" The head guard looked at her mockingly.

"Oh, oh, he's just… a little nervous! He's really quite a nuisance with that transforming power of his!" She raced to reassure him before bending over the puppy with her hand raised, ready to strike him. "Transform you boneheaded dolt or I swear I'll-!"

"That's it. I've heard enough!" Kimo interrupted, motioning with his left arm for the guards on either side of him to take action. "Guards!"

As the two men in armor started for her, the woman became more frantic, shouting at the guards and putting her hands up in front of herself, as if that would protect her from being dragged away by them.

"I swear it!" She yelled in outrage, "He really is a human!" She swiped at the small golden colored dog, landing her outspread palm across the poor thing's right ear, making it whimper in pain.

Kimo stood, with an expression of great annoyance, bellowing, "Guards! Get her out of my sight! NOW!"

Both of Kimo's lackeys stumbled forward in fear, gripping the old woman under her arms and starting to haul her away from their angry captain. Since the woman was struggling though, one of her legs ended up kicking the outstretched hand of the boy dressed in green seen prior.

The boy gave a startled cry of "Serenity!" as the cage in his hand containing the shimmering golden fairy shot up into the air.

"Noah!" Serenity cried, "Ah! Help!"

The cage flew high into the air while Noah was being held down by the gargantuan man to stop him from flying after the fairy and the cage landed with a clatter upon the blonde dog Joey followed by a loud 'boom!' erupting and a huge thick puff of golden smoke forming rapidly to surround the puppy and hide him from sight.

For seconds after that event, no one moved, until Serenity came whizzing out of the golden cloud and straight into a very relieved Noah's arms. Then another shape rose from the smoke, floating upwards until Kimo was able to verify what the shape was, and when he did realize its identity…

"It's Joey!" Shouted the old woman, "Look, you see that? He's **is** a human! I told you so!"

The dog-turned-boy looked about sixteen years old and had his eyes tightly shut and his position looked more like he was sinking in water rather than the actual situation. He wore a pair of ripped and tattered dark blue jeans, faded white running-shoes, a baby-blue shirt with the words 'Back Alley' sown on the front and sleeves and a few metal anklets, wristlets and a pair of dog-tags to complete the look.

Joey Wheeler shook his head quickly –trying to figure out what was happening –causing his short but scruffy blond hair to be swept from in front of his eyes. Shimmering golden-brown honey eyes opened, blinking in surprise and he brought one of his slender but calloused hands up to view. So he was back to being a human now? That was weird. Only he decided when he usually changed back, except for if a spell was cast upon him. And as far as he knew, nothing was different…

…Except for the fact that he was about ten feet up in the air at that moment!

"WHA DA HELL!" He screamed reflexively, his long scruffy blonde tail –a shade darker in color than his hair –curling between his outstretched legs in fright while his ears flattened out for the same reason. The reason the blonde boy's ears could do this was that Joey didn't have a normal pair of human ears. In place of normal ears were large furry ears the same color as his tail, though they looked more like a cat's ears than a dog's.

"Whoa!" Joey suddenly realized, being just a _little_ bit slow on the uptake, "I'm flyin'!"

"He's flying!" Noah said with a relieved chuckle.

"He's flying!" chorused the three pig-boys.

"He's **human**!" Kimo growled, astonished.

"Oh yeah!" Joey ended the string of observance with a mocking laugh, "You bet your behind I'm a human! And I'm outta here! I bet you mighta seen a housefly or maybe even a horsefly, but you ain't neva seen a human-doggy fly! Ha! Woo!" Joey started to kick his legs jovially, reveling in his new found freedom until…

"Oof," Joey landed on the hard ground with a heavy 'thud' and sat up, groaning, "Uh-oh."

"Run Kid!" Noah shouted a split second before Kimo bellowed to his guards; "Seize him!"

Of course, Joey listened to Noah. The blonde dog quickly stabilized himself on his slim but study legs and bolted off down an old and unused looking track to the side of their currant location, as no less than about twenty men in steel pursued him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakura sighed, pulling his cloak up to cover his hair once more, as he hung another threatening sign on a tree not to far off from his home. Travelers usually were unfamiliar to the area and didn't realize that it was his turf, so the Spirit though he might at least put up some signs to worn them. The red clay he used on his wooden signs looked a lot like blood so it would be sure to scare of any would-be-intruders, give him some piece and quiet and save them having a massive heart attack or two when they saw him. Everyone who saw him always got frightened and ran away, but he refused to admit just how upset it made him.

Why couldn't someone just see him as normal for once?

"Ah!" Bakura gasped in surprise as he was shoved forward suddenly from behind. He quickly turned to see a boy about his age sprawled out in front of him on the ground –where he had evidently landed after their encounter –and a huge troop of knight running up the light slope after the boy, spears ready and all bearing the crest of Lord Yami on their chests; a large 'Y' with a cobra coiled around it.

The boy was looking up at Bakura with a curious look –obviously trying to see his features past the cloak he wore –and the Spirit finally noticed that the boy seemed to be someone whom inherited a Fairy Tale gene, since he had ears and a tail.

The guards had finally caught up and Bakura regarded them with a half interested look, still assessing the teen in front of him who was now looking fearfully over his shoulders at the troop of men gathered only a few meters away.

"Ha! Now we have you!" Kimo steeped forward with a proud grin on his face, ready to grab the blonde puppy.

"Now, just one minute there captain," Bakura said in a silky smooth voice, stepping gracefully around the surprised dog-boy, "What is the meaning for all this?"

Joey barely held in his gasp as the hairs on the back of his neck rose in anxiousness. There was something strange about this new mysterious character. He moved in the most ethereal way, graceful and elegant as a swan on a lake… but his aura was that of the eel's underneath it; elusive, secretive and deadly.

"Step aside stranger!" Kimo ordered smugly, "By the order of Lord Yami I am to capture that dog and transport him to a designated resettlement facility, and anyone helping him," he grinned hungrily, "will be arrested too."

Bakura's eyes narrowed the slightest under the shadow of his hood, "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

Taking Bakura to be a pushover, Kimo just stepped forward confidently, "Oh, it just might be. What do you say to that?"

Bakura smirked, nimble hands coming up to push the purple hood back, so that his eyes and hair could be seen, "I'd say, you have no idea with whom you are dealing."

Kimo took one look at those extraordinary red eyes and nearly passed out from fright, but he composed him self somewhat and stated, "Oh gods!" he gulped, "P-p-p-please, just s-step aside then, or I- I- I will be f-f-forced to place you under a-a-arrest."

Bakura let out a loud derisive laugh and folded his arms, giving the other a curious look and speaking in his usual low British accent, "Oh, really now? You and what army?" He smirked devilishly.

Kimo froze in horror, glancing over his shoulder to see that the track where his men were was now bare accept for some shields, swords and spears laying on the ground –forgotten.

The Spirit let out a low chortle and said darkly, "I wonder how your soul would taste," he mused allowed to scare the man, "Not that appetizing, I'll bet, but I suppose I'm willing to try anything once."

Kimo turned tail speedily and shot down the track like a bullet, screaming like a little girl all the way.

And now, with all potential threats gone, Bakura was free to let down his act. He forgot about Joey as he slumped against a near-by tree and closed his eyes, "Ye Gods, those brutes are a tiresome bunch, but amusing none-the-less."

"Whoa!" Joey's exited voice startled the white haired boy somewhat, causing him to quickly swing to face the puppy in a fighting stance.

"What's your problem, Mutt?" He growled defensively, "You got a problem? Get lost, before I decide that your soul is on tonight's menu!"

Joey just sat there, grinning happily, "Can I say somethin', White Boy?" he asked, then continued on excitedly, not even waiting for Bakura's answer, "Listen; ya were really awesom'! You know that? Of couse ya do! I mean; those guards thought they was all that and then –BAM! –you show up and they was trippin' over themselves ta get away!"

Bakura had now let his fighting position down, and stood dumbfounded as he gazed at the blonde. Said blonde was currently picking himself of the ground and dusting off his clothes.

"Don't you know," Bakura paused for a split second before continuing, "…what I am?"

Joey gave him a confused grin, before walking up and grabbing the pale boys hand in a friendly but firm handshake, "Can't say that I know da technical name for whateva story character ya are, but I'd be glad if I could call ya my friend!"

Bakura recoiled instantly, "What? You're insane! Leave my alone!" And with that, the pale teen took of into a dead run down the track, towards his home.

After having run a good ten minutes, Bakura stopped near a clean and sparkling spring to compose himself. After all, he was shocked beyond belief at that point. Someone had asked to be his friend, and genuinely seemed happy about the idea. But Bakura knew better. He knew that as soon as he told that dog-boy what he really was, he'd be let down again. The teen looked like he wasn't all that brave and given the fact that Bakura was well known for being one of the scariest things in the land, the boy would no doubt run away in fear. It was always the same.

"Hey dude!" A loud voice startled Bakura, making him jump in surprise. Not an easy feat to accomplish, mind you.

"Ah!" he turned to see Joey leaning on a tree not to far away, "You! Get away from me! Shoo! Scat! Be gone, pest!"

Joey laughed good-naturedly, scratching the back of his head with his right hand, "Hey pal, no need ta get all defensive! I'm just here to say thank ya!" he stretched his arms out in a relaxed fashion, "Man, is it good ta be free!"

"You better no have flees," Bakura mumbled, catching sight of Joey scratching. Then he spoke to the blonde directly, "Now, why don't you go and celebrate life with your _own_ friends, him?"

Joey lowered his head, "I don' have any friends."

Bakura froze, but quickly shook of the small bubble of sympathy he felt rising in his chest. 'No,' he reminded himself, 'as soon as he finds out what you are, he'll be out of here and begging those guards to take him away.'

"Do you honestly think I care Mutt?" the Spirit sneered aloud, "Leave me alone."

"No way man!" was the immediate reply, before Bakura could even turn to leave, "I'm gonna stick with ya from now on! You're pretty intimidatin' with those looks and I can be tough too! There were just –uh, too many guards for me to fight all by myself! Yeah, that's it! Otherwise, you know I coulda wipped 'em good!"

Bakura rolled his eyes at his companion's obviously overly-exaggerated boasting, but let the teen continue as they both started to walk further alone the track with Bakura in the lead.

"Yeah!" Joey went on, "We'll scare thae spit outta anyone that crosses us," he grabbed the red eyed teen be the shoulders to spin him around, "What day a say –Yah!"

The last part had been a yelp as the puppy was unexpectedly thrown back by an enormous burst of artic wind, so that his back was now pressed up against a tree and something unseen was holding him there. He watched, wide eyed, as Bakura approached him; the pale Spirit having now given up on hiding his power and letting Joey see him for what he truly was. His hair spiked up as the forest around them started to grow colder and darker and all sound was muted out by some strange sort of magic. A light blue aura surrounded the boy as he stalked towards Joey with a murderous intent clear in his crimson eyes.

When Bakura was right up close to the boy, he leant over and whispered in his ear, low and deadly with a raspy quality, "Now Mutt, leave before I kill you."

And everything suddenly snapped back to normal.

Bakura gave Joey a raised eyebrow, as the teen didn't move from the tree he was pressed against. Though, finally, he did shift after some time, and opened his mouth to speak.

Although what came out was far from the scream of terror Bakura expected…

"Oh, WOW!" The brown eyed boy grinned brightly, "Now, that was **really** scary! But it's kinda hard to be scared of someone whose breath smells like they just swallowed a Tic-Tac factory, if ya don't mind me sayin'. I mean, how da ya live out here and manage that?" Joey looked around in astonishment.

"I, uh, chew mint leaves." Bakura granted the information unsurely, wondering how on earth they had come to discuss this bizarre topic.

"Well, can't ya chew some algae or somthin'?" The dog-boy asked, "It would make ya scarier. But I suppose I should be thankful you don't smell like an ogre or something huh?" The boy started to muse allowed, "You know, I met an ogre once. Woo, man. His breath almost singed the hair right outta my nose, just like this one time-" Bakura quickly covered Joey's mouth, willing himself not to become to angry at the boy. But his agitated look quickly gave way to one of shock as he realized the blonde hadn't stopped talking.

Hesitantly, Bakura eased his hand off of the other's mouth… and was very sorry he did.

"-and then I ate some rotten berries," Joey continued, unperturbed, "Man, I had some strong gasses sneakin' out of my butt that day."

Bakura slapped a hand to his forehead in exasperation, saying, "Look, I don't know who you are or where you came from or even how you can stand to be as annoying as you are but-"

"Oh, sorry man," the blonde half-dog smiled, "My name is Joey Wheeler."

"I see," Bakura raised an elegant brow, "And why, Joey Wheeler, are you following me of all… creatures?"

Creature. Not a person. Bakura wasn't a human and he had accepted that fact long ago… but sometimes the desire to be one messed up his train of thought.

"'_Cause I'm all alone_," Joey sang in a voice just a _little_ too high to be considered friendly to the ear, "There's no one here beside me!"

"Oh no!" Bakura quickly cut in, "No, no, **NO**! Don't you _dare_ start singing, or I'll neuter you right now!"

"Wow, look," Joey slung and arm around the Spirit, "We're actin' like buddies already; makin' pretend threats and all!"

Bakura spun around, lightening fast, unhooking the blonde's arm from its perch across his back and throwing the boy to the ground with a growl, "I told you to _get lost_! Don't you have any brains Mutt? Look at me! What am I?"

Joey –who was now resting flat on his bottom after Bakura's outburst –gazed up at the pale being standing over him and said in a naïve manner; "Uh… Well, whateva ya are, ya sure do look tall from down here."

Bakura felt like killing the dumb puppy as he finally snapped and screamed; "NO, you stupid flee-bitten mongrel! I'm a Spirit!"

"A wha?" Joey's eyes went wide, "You mean a Spirit as in da 'I'll eat ya soul' Spirits that everyone's afraid of?"

Bakura sighed, "Yes."

"Oh," Joey gave him an impressed look, "Well, at least now I know why those guards were so afraid of ya. But ya don't look so scary to me."

Bakura thought he hadn't heard that correctly. I couldn't be that someone wasn't disgusted with him. That didn't seem feasible when he could recall all those frightened and terror stricken-faces he had seen growing up.

"It," he paused to moisten his throat, "doesn't bother you…?"

"Nope," was Joey's immediate care-free reply.

"Really?" Bakura turned away and started to walk home again, not wanting the blonde to see the slight blush on his face.

"Really, really." The half-dog clarified, falling in to step beside him.

"Oh." The Spirit tried to sound nonchalant, but the slight hue of happiness just wouldn't be extinguished from his voice. Could it be that someone was finally accepting him, even if that someone was the most annoying person ever?

'No,' he warned himself again, 'I must be careful. He'll just wise up and leave me like the rest. Best not to let him get to close. Besides, he's really annoying. I don't need someone like that around.'

He ignored the little voice that piped up in response to that statement; 'Everybody needs _somebody_ around.'

"Man, I like ya," Joey mused, "What's ya name?"

The Spirit felt himself go numb for a second. Someone actually wanted to know his name? That had never happened before. In fact, he had momentarily forgotten his name, because it hadn't been spoken by anyone in so long. The last person to speak it had been his mother… just before she passed away.

Due to his internal contemplation, Bakura had abruptly halted on the spot, causing a –still walking –Joey to slam in to his back and send them both sprawling to the ground near a large grassy hill that sloped downwards and away from them. When Bakura finally got his bearings back, he stood up and looked down the hill at his home.

"Hey, what's up?" Joey asked, bringing himself to stand beside the Spirit. Then he gazed down at Bakura's 'house' and let out a low chuckle, "Ah, I can see now. I'd trip too after seein' a place like _that_. I mean, who in their right mind would wanna live in such a disgustin' place?"

Bakura started down the hill, growling, "_That_… would be my home."

"Oh!" Joey suddenly changed his tune completely, so as not to offend the Spirit, "And it's lovely! Its amazin' what ya've done with such a modest budget!" He ran after Bakura, trying to redeem himself, "I like dis rock, right here! And this tree too!"

Bakura grit his teeth to suppress his rage. He was going to kill this dog when he had he chance. Of course, he didn't get much of a chance to mull over that decision, when a tumbling Joey knocked him clean off his feet and sent them both flying right through his front door and onto the shabby rug draped over the ground inside.

Bakura sat up, rubbing the spot on his head that he'd slammed up against his stolen coffee table while Joey just glanced around at the dirty and run-down innards of the shack.

"Oops." He grinned sheepishly, "Tripped… Hey its not so bad in here. I could live here."

Bakura froze, "Come again?"

"Can I stay with you?" Joey posed his question carefully, "I aint gots nowhere else ta go."

"No."

"Please!"  
"What part of 'No' don't you bloody get?!"

"Please please please please!"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh come on!" Joey crossed his arms in a huff, "I know ya might not entertain much, considering those warning signs outside-"

"I like my privacy."

"- but I won't be any trouble! You don' understand! They'll _kill_ me if I go out there! Ya have no idea what its like to be considered a freak!"

Bakura raised an eyebrow, silently telling Joey to rethink his words.

"Okay," the blond amended, "so maybe ya do, but that's why we gotta stick together!"

"Alright," the Spirit gave in, holding his injured head, "You may stay for one night. _One _night. Then out you go."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you – say, ya never did tell me your name."

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Its Bakura. Now shut up and do me a favor and make dinner."

Joey beamed, "Dinner! Oh yeah baby! Now we're talkin'! I can do dinner!"

"Joey?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me 'baby' again and I'll kill you."

"…Got it."

**Hope you all liked it. Next one is on its way.**

**Please review!**


End file.
